Why You Should Embrace Your Singleness
We grow up in a society where relationships are romanticised and it’s almost an expectation that we should at least be working on getting into a relationship in order to find success and happiness. Especially for women, being single is still greatly stigmatised and unfortunately many people invest themselves into the wrong people due to the social pressure and “shame” of being single. I wanted to share my experience and write about my perspective on why I love my season of singleness and why you can too!
I think the world spends too much time obsessing over relationship statuses and idealising attention from the opposite sex as a form of validation. I can’t lie and say that I don’t enjoy male attention or get caught up thinking about those cute couple goals pictures on Instagram. I especially watch way too many romance movies and have read a lot of romance literature which heightens my desire to be wanted and loved in the exact same way those characters are. The problem is that I always thought those stories were the definition of what relationships should look like, but in actuality I’ve come to learn that these plots and character types are mostly fairy tale ideologies; far from what a real life relationship would ever look like.
Despite my enthusiasm to the romance genre, I was never personally interested in dating and even right now it’s not greatly on my mind. I’ve always just had a good thing on my own. Growing up I’m grateful that I never really felt this pressure from my family or friends but at the same time I know a lot of people that have to face this challenge and it’s just not okay.
The point I’m trying to make is that I would definitely entertain the idea but I’m not going out of my way to find someone. You shouldn’t feel like you need to be in a relationship because you think it will make you whole or complete.
Being strong and independent is more about being empowered by having a choice. Choosing to be in a relationship that brings you joy or choosing to be happy when single. The important thing is realizing both can be amazing and both have their pros and cons and you should be able to feel confident in either situation you’re in.
Anyway, here are some reasons on why I embrace my singleness:
- It’s the perfect time for self-discovery and learning who I am. I can give myself undivided attention and put in more effort to work on bettering myself.
- My decisions are mine and I don’t have to compromise with someone else. I’m free to travel when I want and have the freedom to pick a new city and move to wherever I choose.
- I can spend more time on developing solid friendships.
- When I look back to just last year, I already feel like I’ve changed and next year I’ll have changed again. At 20 I know for sure that I don’t know exactly what I want in someone. The things I want now will be different to what I’m looking for in 5 or 10 years time.
- My goals are limitless- Again not having to consider someone else in the equation means that I can spend as much time pursuing these goals
- You can develop a confidence on your own and be reassured that you’re already more than good enough. Also, the more complete you feel whilst single means that if you find someone in the future, you can add and receive more value from the relationship.
I’m just living my best life, focusing on all of my various goals, working on who I want to be and discovering life. We spend so much time with ourselves that we need to first love the relationship we have with our own bodies before we start pouring parts of ourselves into a romantic partner. I’m not here to settle for anything and that means I’m not settling for anyone just because they appear to be “convenient” at this current time. Who really wants that anyway? Being single is such an exciting time in your life that you shouldn’t take for granted.
It ain’t that bad babe! Actually it’s pretty freaking dope.
“She is the kind of high maintenance that seems to be too much for the modern man; craving the most priceless of things, conversations that last until the sun rises, a lifetime of memories and unconditional love to name a few.” / j.iron word
Thanks for stopping by,